🪵 The Woodchuck Calculator

A rigorous scientific investigation

📐 The Official Answer

According to wildlife biologist Richard Thomas (1988), who studied the burrowing habits of woodchucks (Marmota monax), a woodchuck would chuck approximately:

700 lbs

≈ 320 kg of wood per day

Thomas measured how much dirt a woodchuck chucks while burrowing (~35 cubic feet / ~700 lbs), then applied that figure to wood as a proxy — since woodchucks don't actually chuck wood in the wild.

🐿️ Interactive Wood-Chucker

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Mr. Chucky

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5 logs remaining

Logs chucked: 0

🤓 Bonus Facts

▸ Woodchucks are also called groundhogs and whistle-pigs.

▸ The tongue-twister dates to 1902, from a song by Robert Hobart Davis.

▸ New York state wildlife expert Peter Piper… wait, wrong tongue twister.

▸ At 700 lbs/day, a woodchuck could clear a cord of firewood (~2 tons) in about 3 days.

▸ The answer in the original 1902 song: "as much wood as a woodchuck would, if a woodchuck could chuck wood." Not helpful.